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Press the pause button on The Request Chronicles, because we have a new PV to review! Wanna know what it is? Well, take a looksy~
Remember just how cheap Hello! Project's sparkle effects are right now? Yeah, well Aki-P's decided to follow in Tsunku's footsteps, though he's gone all retro cheap in AKB48's latest PV release, Eien Pressure. You think I'm kidding? Well, you will need to witness the video for yourself to understand just how tacky and cheap Aki-P has decided to go...
But honestly, that does not make this a bad PV. Well. The only reason why I bash One Two Three so much is because there is an un-godly amount of effects used in the video where it isn't needed, as if a child spilt glitter all over their collage by accident, but didn't bother to tap off the unnecessary excess. But this is AKB48's PV, and the effects used here are a totally different matter... mostly because it looks like something that you would see in an 80's movie.
I'm not kidding. The effects in this are terrible, to the point where the video is hilarious and you can't help but enjoy it for just how cheap, tacky and terrible it truly is. I would like to note that said tackiness is also the charm point of this PV, and the saviour for this song.
Once again, I am not kidding... though I would also like to note that the PV's tackiness is the saviour of this song for me personally. Many others may dislike this tackiness, the cheap feel to the video, and the overall mess that it is, but I quite like it. But I'm weird and tacky stuff, so you can ignore me if you want and hate this PV if you feel the need to do so, like many others will, I am sure.
You know what? Let's just get into this video and see just how tacky it truly is! Bring on the tack!!!
It all starts with once upon a time...
Now, seriously, editors? I can do this old-time effect in Windows Movie Maker, it's that easy...
Paruru is adorable, and I won't deny it
Those cute little derp duck lips! So adorable!
Their costumes are cute, but they remind me too much of Ue Kara Mariko.
Paruru: "Hmph! MY PV is far better than Mariko's ever was!"
Paruru Pout! So cute <3
That girl's a cutie!
We're all pyramids!
Girl: "Become my fan?"
No idea who you are, but you are gorgeous~
Derp lips! So. Freakin'. ADORABLE!
Mariko: "Paruru to the back, it's Mariko time!"
Mariko, saving us all from boredom!
I swear, she just radiates awesome, no matter what she does. She just owns the room.
Mariko: "I'm back, and I'm better than ever, kids!"
It's as if I'm watching Ue Kara Mariko all over again...
Now isn't she just adorable!
And she just has this something something about her which is rather irresistable and makes me want to know more about her...
Well, I really have no idea what this says, so let's translate this my way, shall we...?
"And thus, the AKB fans jumped ship, for many did not like the Dawn of Paruru..."
Who are you? Why you so pretty?
CONTINUITY! Continuity Error!!!
Damn what a cheap ass way to make this video longer... though not as cheap as the random tree clips (that cut away really quickly) they added in for no bloody reason at the beginning...
Why is Mariko a fortune teller?
And que the Cheap Ass effects!!!
I'm getting a sense of De Ja Synchro Toki Meki...
Girly: "No! Do not think of other PV's in the presence of Paruru!"
She denies the similarities, clearly.
So... why did they send Paruru out into the forest again, other than to hint at Red Riding Hood?
Mariko: "This video is such a cheap knock off of mine."
Mariko is freakin' flawless, even when she isn't the centre.
And so begin the Paruru day dreams of victory...
Paruru, isn't that a little dangerous...?
Ah, she's cute! What's your name, sweety?
Cutie: "I didn't make centre..."
Again, cute!
Oh shit! She's evil! What a turn around!
... And she also slightly looks like ex HouPri member, Mayuka.
I like you and your smile!
... Welcome back, cheap, tacky effects from the 80's.
No, Paruru! That's the wrong way! The Cute Witch changed the sign with her cheesy 80's effects!
Every PV needs a bit of Tomomi and her chin!
Cutie: "Muahaha... Crystal ball, show me the Centre! Show me how I can kill... er, I mean get stop her!!!"
Hearty: "Damn these effects are crappy..."
Haato for your thoughts? I swear, everyone is cute in this video barr Kashiwagi
... See what I mean!?
Now that was just adorable.
Paruru, that's dangerous! Don't do it, it's a trap!!!
What, is she a psychic now?
Ah shi---
Well, that's one way to get rid of the Centre, I guess, though honestly, the Janken single isn't anything to get excited over...
Bye Bye, Paruru. You were cute whilst you lasted.
Mariko: "I will help you, fellow Janken winner..."
Oh, Mariko is lending a hand! How lovely, Mariko-sama...
Cutie: "Nah bitch, I lied. I'm really gonna kill you for that centre position."
... Shitty effects and facial replacement say WHUT?
...
Admit it, this as a clever way to add in Janken for this video. I'm actually really impressed that they did it in such a way though I am easily impressed
Mariko: "Oh fu---"
That sheer look of surprise is so damn amazing, I needed to screen cap it! xD
What, did playing Scissors turn her into freaking Jesus or something?
Okay holy fuck, what the hell?
This is bloody gold, guys. GOLD!!!
Finally... a shot of the dance where nothing looks blurred...
Paruru has seen the light!!! Defeating the witch has also stopped the crappy effects, HOORAH!
What'shername: "The shitty 80s effects have stopped now? We're free to go?"
Shock at the fact that Paruru has actually returned alive.
Now that is the smile of a girl who knows that she is centre, no matter how many people hate her for it.
Paruru returns to the love and applause that she dreamed about all along.
... Okay, there's that creepy-ass soul eating smile that Paruru uses only when she wants to gorge n your soul whilst your dead body lays beside her. Freaky much?
... Wait, hold up? She went through all that pain, trouble and near-death experience for some fucking flowers? What, did the witch have something against her because she was the one who was chosen to get them or something?
Dude. The. Fuck?
.... This PV makes no sense.
Oh well, at least we got some cute Paruru out of it all, not that everyone loves her, that is.
Now guys, you have to admit that the effects truly made this video, because without them, we would have basically had Ue Kara Mariko 2.0, though quite possibly a little bit more creative with the whole Red Riding Hood concept that the PV has going on here. For me though, the effects really made this video a lot more entertaining, despite how cheap, tacky and cheesy they truly are.
Admittedly, I was anticipating something a lot worse from what the short PV showed us. I wasn't prepared to be so entertained by it at all, and I was definitely not prepared to like it as much as I did. Again, the effects really did it for me here; the video became a lot more entertaining and hilarious to watch thanks to the terrible, colourful and outdated effects that the editors used. I actually have to wonder what went through their heads when they decided to be as lazy and half-assed with this video, though I will mostly put it down to the fact that it's because it's the Janken single, and in general, the Janken singles aren't that creative in song or in video, but props to the editors for making this mess of a PV into something funny to watch that kept me entertained for a good five minutes.
Now this video is probably going to get a lot of hate anyway, and not just because of the crap effects or the basic storyline, or even the recycled feel of the video that reminds you of Ue Kara Mariko, but because of Paruru herself. Plenty of people have already stated that they don't like her and that they don't want her as a centre, heck some are even telling others not to buy this single because of Paruru, and I guess in a way it's understandable because Paruru is probably one of the more raw Idols in AKB48 at the moment; she's neither good nor bad, but her talent is truly not shining yet, but already she is getting a lot of hate, and honestly, it's quite annoying.
I know I shouldn't say that as someone who truly disliked Acchan, but honestly, I never hated the poor girl, let alone wished that others would band against her to get her out of singles. Yeah, I wanted her face out of PV's, but that was for some and not all... Kind of like how I want Riho in the back sometimes, you know?
With that addressed, I would like to say that I do enjoy this PV (if you hadn't noticed) and I find it quite charming in it's own tacky way. I found the effects themselves to be very humorous and fun, though very cheap and lazy as well. This may not be the greatest aspect for some people, but because I found it so funny to watch, I thought that it added a certain charm element to the PV which allowed me to like it so much more because it was tacky and lazy. Really, there is no creativity in this video, but the lack of imagination and effort really makes this PV a fun one to watch, and worthwhile for the five minutes you waste watching it. It's cute, and I find that it actually describes how people may view Paruru in a way; lazy, effortless and messy, much like her skills. Now, this is not me directly hating on Paruru, because she is one honest to God cutie, but people complain about her lack of ability when it comes to singing or dancing talent, and whilst I don't know much about her, I do think that her singing ability falls very short of what an ideal centre should have when it comes to talent, but hey, who am I to judge really?
I do, however, find Paruru entertaining to watch. Okay, so she probably has the personality of Acchan, but she has this quirky little Demon spawn smile which is quite hard to resist, and eyes which make me think that she wants my soul. And then there is that cute little duck-lipped pout. Hook line and sinker for me, because damn, it's adorable, and really makes up for everything else in the video that falls short, such as the dance and the song itself.
Though admittedly, I do find the dance quite cute, but it isn't anything that we haven't seen before, and it's extremely simple to the point where I do begin to wonder if it was made this way to fit Paruru's own ability as a dancer so that she didn't show up bad in her centre single?
Now the song, we need to talk about that. The song that reminds me of Pera Pera Perao and Ue Kara Mariko, the song which is basically every generic, boring AKB48 song known to exist thrown together to create Eien Pressure. This song is basically my guilty pleasure, because I love generic songs, but it's also annoying, because I have heard this so many times with AKB48 A-sides, and honestly, I want something new and different and original, because Gingham Check was shit enough. Why do we need another Ginham Check or Ue Kara Mariko with a different title and a new centre? Honestly, Aki-P, I am sure you can pull out better crap than this. You made RIVER, right? Well, make something like that, but not too similar, obviously, because you can't just half arse your way through this park forever. Eventually the money won't come in as fast as it does right now.
I would also like to take a moment and complain about the sudden instrumental break in the song. I don't know if I am the only one who thinks this, but honestly, where the song breaks for the 'intense' (meaning: Not) part of the song, where Paruru falls more specifically, I felt that there should have been more singing. It fell pretty short far too quickly, and I felt like I had been left hanging where there should have been more vocals to finish it off. It's actually quite annoying to be honest, and I found myself wondering just why no one was singing. It sounded so empty and unfinished, as if the instrumental itself was waiting for someone to sing a little bit of a tune to tie us into the guitar rifts that soon followed after such an awkward, empty break. Really, that did annoy me.
I do think that it's a cute song, but it's annoying how bland and similar it is to everything else I hear from AKB48 right now. Will I continue to listen to it? Hell yes I will, but I will forever sing Pera Pera Perao and Ue Kara Mariko lyrics along with it, because it is just that bloody similar.
So, once again; I find the PV tacky and cheesy, but to the point where it's enjoyable. Admittedly, the whole PV itself is one giant hot mess of editing (I found a continuity error, never good!) and there really is nothing great about this PV which makes it stick out from previous video's. The only thing that it truly has going for it is the graphics, but that's only because they are so crap that it makes it somewhat fun to watch, but honestly, if you had shown me this video and Ue Kara Mariko together, I really would not be able to tell the scenes a part when it comes to dance and close up shots, because they are so similar. Even the dance hall looks similar, that's just how lazy it is, so thank goodness for the effects, because it saved me from being bored by this generic video and tearing it apart like I originally intended to, before I fell in love with it for all it's terrible graphics and derpy duck pouts.
It's enjoyable, but I can see a lot of people hating it more so for the tack and Paruru, rather than the generic PV itself. It's not the best from AKB48, but honestly... this is what I have come to expect after a few awesome video's now, because Aki P does get lazy, and you know that he only does these sorts of songs and video's for a quick buck.
Forever Pressure... well, the title pretty much sums up the pressure fans will be giving Paruru after this.