It's called 'Help me!!' because Ayumi and Sakura don't know WTF to do here

WARNING!!! If you are easily offended by such content as swearing, insinuation of anything like hookers, then steer away. Just because I say it does not necessarily mean that I mean it. The last time I said the word hooker on this blog, I used the word to basically describe a colour, but someone got bitchy and whined about how I was calling a certain member a hooker when I clearly was not. Anyway, if I say it, remember; I do not mean it. It's used in the form of a joke, and if people can basically say their costumes look like those of a hooker, then I can say what something looks like too. I am also a little crude in this post. Thanks.

I can't really count just how many people have been waiting for this PV to come out, myself included of course, but there was quite a lot of people hoping that it would be here soon so that they could see just how 'awesome' it is and fawn over the debut of Oda Sakura and basically cry about how wonderful she is as a singer and how Morning Musume finally have good vocals in the group once again...

Yeah... there's been quite a bit of hype behind this song, and whilst hype is all fine and dandy, it does raise one's expectations, and we know just how quickly those expectations can fall, don't we?

That said, Help me!! as a PV is a lot better than I initially expected, but from all the hype and happiness it was given from fans, it also falls a little flat in what I was expecting. It isn't bad of course - that title goes to One Two Three in lack of effort and overall shittiness - but it isn't great like people say it is in my opinion.

But my feelings for the PV didn't stop me screen capping the hell out if it! I really got carried away this, mostly because certain girls are darling to look at, so I suggest that you sit back, grab your sake, alcoholic beverage or soda and enjoy the pic storm I have conjured for Help me!!.

Help me!!, the title that all the background girls will be crying out because they get little to no attention

See also: Suzuki Kanon

Well hello there, little miss Hotty...

Ah shit, my damn TV's on the blink again! -hits TV-

Look out behind you, Sayu! There are ghosts!!!

Yes, that's right Riho... bow down to the new Ace...

Sakura, you're looking very scared and helpless right there... have UFP already sent you off to fend for yourself in the realms of Sayu's Hidden Loli Chamber?

Well hello there, miss Street Walker of the Night...

Oh wait, did I just insinuate that you were a hooker?

Damn this girl has some attitude, and it's only the beginning of the video!

You, on the other hand, clearly have no idea what you want to do in this video... other than suck our souls away, of course.

Can these three make a new trio called Perfection? Pretty damn please?

Well hello there, Haruna. I did not anticipate to see you out on the streets at this hour...

And oh my gosh, hello Zukkini you beautiful girl, you!

I seem to be meeting all the girls out on the street tonight...

... Okay, this shot does not save the girls from looking like street walkers at all.

But this one surprisingly does! Waiting for a date there, Riho?

My lord, Zukki, aren't you gorgeous! don't care what anyone else says, she's damn perfect

Hnng!!!... Well well now, someone's turning on the charm. Quite different from when you debuted, really...

QUICK FLASH! I never noticed this until my sister pointed it out, but UFP seem to want to remind us just who the hell these girls are now that they've brought in the children.

OMFG LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYZERS!!11!!!1!

Well hello there again, Sakura. How is being the sole 11th gen member working out for you?

Funky imagery (and a nice camera shot, too), but I'm starting to reminisce..

Oh yeah! That billboard with the faces has already happened in Mikan...

Also, the giant ass moon in Help me!! is pretty similar to the giant orange on the building in Mikan.

My lord she is gorgeous...

Now UFP, remind me why the hell she isn't the lead singer or centre, and why Riho is...?

I don't know about you, but Haruka is stealing this PV for me.

DAT SMILE!!! <3

Riho: "I hear you's been talkin' shit about me?"

Ah shit, she's gonna kill me for asking why she's centre and a lead singer and not Fukumura...

Holy Light! The second coming of Jesus is here!

That giant ass moon really takes away my attention from the dance...

Sakuranbo: "Outta my way, bitches, it's my show now!"

Sakura's attempt at attitude is pretty lacking, in my opinion.

Ayumi: "Help me get out of this damn flower field, my hay fever's acting up..."

Sorry Ayumi, but you look too emotionless in this video for me to care

CHOKUBO!!! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play on the train tracks? TekeTeke-san will come and get you if you do!

Well hello there, pretty lady...

Is it just me, or does Haruka have this inner Diva that reminds you of Niigaki Risa?

You look so cute, Winky... Why you so damn cute?

Damn, UFP, way to stick together the most developed of 9th gen together...

Oh wait, I shouldn't say that about underage girls, should I? It's still damn true, though

Masaki: "Shhh! Don't tell anyone..."

Don't tell anyone what, Masakissu? That you're not actually as batshit crazy as you want us to all think? That you're absolutely adorable?

My GOD, that sass, that confidence... dat appeal!

I take back what I said about Morning Musume no longer having ass now that Ai-butts gone... Fukumura is the Ass now, and the curves and everything!

WHERE'S HER DAMN PB?

I have no idea why, but this image just makes me think that Riho could pull off a good Yankee character once Reina's jumped ship.

Pout, gurl and WORK IT!

MY GOD there's two of them! Isn't one enough?

Sass, attitude and the looks... she has it all, and she's only, what? 13?

Damn, she's awesome! Haruka is definitely the Ace of her generation in my eyes.

Sakuranbo: "I'm the best in my generation, right?"

Sakuranbo, you don't seem that into this video, know what I'm saying?

I love this overhead shot, so awesome <3

You don't get much solo screen time girl, but damn, you are freakin' gorgeous!

Oh hello again there, Masaki... Diva'ing the place up, I see?

So awesome, Fukumura made the other Morning Members disappear; that's just how FIERCE she really is.

How Morning Musume should be; Fukumura Centre! It would be perfect!

Ah shit, the TV's playing up again... -hits with a plank of wood-

Aww Chokubo, don't look so helpless... I love you~

IT'S JESUS!!!

... Oh wait, it's just Reina. False call, guys!

Now that's a look which cries Help me!!

Is Sayu trying to get to you young'ins again, Masakissu? Or did Tsunku just drop his pants, hence the face you are pulling now?

Well hello there little miss Sass, attitude and beauty all rolled into one! Look at you, taking the attitude pill!

So, when are you becoming the centre? Next single, hopefully.

I do like how neon and Final Fantasy-esque the backdrop looks in these scenes.

FUCK YEAH, LAZERS!!!

Look at that smile! So brilliant, so cute, innocent and pure...

And also, quite smug.

Riho, why are you still in the centre? That's Fukuhime's spot now!

Oh well, no matter how hard I wish for Fukuhime's supreme reign as a lead singer and centre, it doesn't mean that UFP will do it... how sad is life?

Steering away from the depressing fact that Fukuhime isn't the centre (for now...), it's time to delve into the written portion of this review and take a good look at the PV and how I see it; you know, the bit that some people don't like because I express an opinion.

Oh wow, I'm in a catty mood tonight... Well, regardless, let's get into the review! Remember though; my opinions are my own and do not have to correspond to your own opinions or feelings in regard to this video. Just because I do or don't like it doesn't mean that you have to dislike or like it!

So regarding the PV itself, I do honestly think that it had a bit too much hype behind it; not as much as One Two Three, but enough to warrant disappointment when it eventually came out for some fans. Of course quite a few people absolutely love this PV after initially loathing the previews, whilst some downright hate or greatly dislike it. I'm kind of in the middle, I guess. Actually, when I first watched it I really couldn't be bothered to think much about it; it wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, either... It was basically in the middle in terms of how much it excited me, really.

Returning to when I first watched the dance version of Help me!!, I was pretty damn excited when I watched it. The flashing lights were amazing and really brought life into the otherwise boring imagery that has been edited into the video, and the use of effects and colour is really great; but that excitement only lasts so long, I think. Whilst I was taken in by the cool and flashy effects in this video when I watched the dance version for the very first time, I found that the novelty had quickly worn off once the final music video came out. In my opinion, that isn't good. In fact, thinking about it, this video becomes very boring very quickly once I have watched it a few times, despite how beautiful the backgrounds may be and how lovely the girls themselves are.

This may just be me, but really, the PV is just... boring and pretty disappointing, especially when people began to get into a hype over Help me!! thanks to the release of the dance shot.

Now regardless of how boring I may think this PV is, I do like the scenery used; Yes, it's a green screen, but it's done pretty well and looks beautiful most of the time. The image has a painting-like quality to it and looks very futuristic and unreal, something which does work well for this MV. It actually as a Final Fantasy like quality to it I think, and whilst most of the solo scenes make it look like the girls walk the streets of night, the scenery looks amazing thanks to the neon lights and attention to detail. Yes, I would have preferred that the girls were taken to the real locations, but sadly UFP don't care what the fans think, do they? Well, regardless, I think the backdrops are beautiful and work well.

To be honest I'm actually glad that Help me!! wasn't another One Two Three hack job, because everything actually works and the lazers/lights really bring this video to life for me. I know that not everyone likes them, but you have to admit that UFP are getting better with their effects after the fail of One Two Three's sparkle explosion. Urgh.

Getting back to Help me!!, I realised something pretty quickly after watching this video, and it has to do more with the girls themselves than the video; it's come to light that quite a few of Morning Musume's members have really come into their own lately in terms of how strong they are as individuals, and how well they can sell themselves on camera despite the amount of lines they may or may not have. I am actually talking about Fukuhime, Eripon, Masakissu and Haruka, mostly, though Riho also falls into this category as well because she's improved so much when it comes to her presence. Anyway, these four girls really stepped up their game this time, especially Fukuhime. She's seriously kicked it up a notch and shown us just how sexy and badass she can truly be, and let's be honest here; I fell in love, you fell in love... we all wanted a piece of Fukuhime in this. She was so tempting and hardcore, and she owned every scene she was in, especially her solo line and centre dance position. She basically killed it, and she totally worked this video for all it was worth, and she was by far the shining star of this video when it came to charisma and overall presence. She ticked every box in this music video, and she looked so damn hot whilst doing it!

Haruka pretty much ties with Fukuhime for overall presence in this video; the girl didn't get any solo lines (unless you count a pitiful Ah), but boy did she stand out and let us know that Kudo Haruka was in the house! I don't know where she got it from, but Haruka has an amazing amount of confidence and attitude in this video, and she looks so sassy in nearly every scene. Of course she has her cute moments with these quirky little smiles, but throughout most of the video she's either making a Diva out of herself or just oozing charisma and confidence , and seriously, that's what you need in an Idol who's seen and not heard as much as others; her presence was known, and she pretty much nailed it.

Eripon herself was pretty stellar in this video, though not as much as Fukuhime or Haruka were, but it's undeniable that she's come pretty far as an Idol and has changed the most out of her generation mates in my opinion. She went from this awkward and shy cutie and has turned into an attitude driven girl with a sexier character, and she pulls off her character so well in this video. She looks mature and she basically rocks this video! I'm waiting for this attitude to come back in the next video, because her confidence and presence amazed me in Help me!!

Masakissu has also come pretty far I think; she's a kid, and it's actually quite hard to surpress such a strong, childish character like Masaki's, but in Help me!! she looked very cool and different to how I usually see her, and that was surprising! Masakissu, whilst not shown as prominently as say Haruka, Sakura or Riho, still kicked ass in her solo scenes, and I have begun to think that she is truly a force to be reckoned with. She showed a lot more attitude than normal in this video, and she acted so much more mature than I thought she could. Long story short, despite the smaller amount of screen time she may have, she still won me over with her scenes and really sold herself to the audience.

To be honest, most of Morning Musume stood out in this video, but those are the four who really took me in and made me love them more. Yeah, it helps that I actually like all of them, but their attitude and presence towards the camera just hit me harder than others. Sadly, some girls just did not stand out at all, and they were so awkward in this video that it seemed like there was no purpose for their scenes at all. That's not me being mean, by the way, that's just me stating what I think.

Sadly, the two in question are actually Ishida Ayumi and, sadly, Oda Sakura. Now isn't that a bit of a kicker, huh?

I think that Oda Sakura's presence in Help me!! was the most disappointing factor of the entire video; She was highlighted because this is her debut, and whilst the song itself really helps her presence to be known, the video does little to justify the big voice and the small character that comes along with it. The video basically showed Sakura, but it didn't do anything to really show her off and sell her to the audience. All of her scenes were pretty awkward, and she did not stand out in a spectacular way. Whilst girls like Fukuhime and Eripon stood out because of their sexy characters, and Haruka and Masakissu used their attitude to win us all over, Sakura really didn't do anything. In her solo scenes she just stood there looking around as if she had no idea what the hell she was doing, and even in the dance scenes she really didn't have much attitude going on. Now, this could just be me nitpicking and all, but for a debut song, I was really expecting more character and a better presence, you know, a force to be reckoned with; all I saw was a lost and confused girl who didn't know what to do.

Not a great way to debut, is it?

The same goes for Ayumi as well, actually; much like Sakura, Ayumi really seemed stuck for what to do in her solo scenes to the point where she looked so out of place amongst the charismatic and attitude-driven girls around her. Really, she just looked lost and out ofit, as if she thought that staring blankly would save her from having to do anything. Sadly her awkwardness is extremely noticeable in this video, and I really thought that she just didn't fit at all with the current line-up of Morning Musume... Sadly she isn't very prominent in the dance shot, either, so this doesn't help her at all with me, but it must be weird for a dance-driven girl to just stand around and do absolutely nothing.

Poor Ayumi, I actually wish she was given more to do. Sadly she's just left standing there, clueless and lost, wondering what on earth is going on in the video.

So those are my major problems with the girls in this video, really; that two didn't really leave a good impression on me as a viewer. Of course there were girls I really didn't notice, but that's due to UFP's shitty editing team who don't give certain girls enough screen time, but whatever, I can't do anything about it...

Help me!! is a decent video, in my opinion. It has a beautiful backdrop, and lazers (of course), and nearly all the girls have really impressed me with this video. Sadly the video can get pretty boring very quickly, and whilst the song itself is nice to listen to once in a while, I know that it won't be my favourite any time soon. It's a cool sound, but honestly, it isn't a song that I would listen to all the time... that said, it was a nice debut for Sakura to showcase her voice, but sadly Help me!! is a double-edged sword and seems to lack in showing off Sakura as a person in the video. Again, it's a good video, but like most it has its downfalls, and one of the major downfalls in the video is that certain girls can't show off their characters or impress the audience like they should be able to.

Well... there is always next time, I guess.

But DAMN, Fukuhime! You really worked it, girl!

Chiima~

PING!!! Idolminded Recommended Reading: January 15th, 2013