If you are not keen on my writing style, then you know you don't have to read what I write, right? Also, these opinions are ALL my own, so don't hate on me for basically saying what I want to say on my own blog, kay? Also, your opinions are your own - I don't expect you to conform to how I think or feel, so don't think I should conform to your ideals either, okay? OKAY!
If this post/review seems a bit all over the place for you, then that's because it is. It's 2am here and I'm tired... I'm not exactly going to be a writing maestro! Then again, I never am, though I wish I was. I wish!!!
Oh Jesus, it feels like I haven't reviewed a PV in forever! More so, it feels like it has been a really looong while since I last reviewed an AKB48 PV, period. Why? Because they just don't cut it for me any more, not that that means anything really. Regardless, I feel like AKB48 isn't worth my time any more, so I have slowly (within the past year or so, actually) started to lose interest in them. Even now, I really can't be bothered to follow what they do music wise because it is just so... predictable.
Sans Maeshika Mukanee, but even that bored to me some extent. But that's just what I think, okaaay?
Still, weirdly enough I felt a strong desire to review the PV for Labrador Retriever. It's kind of scary how much I wanted to review it actually, because typically the AKB PV's now bore me (which is funny given how good they usually are) and I don't even think the song is good, but... well, the PV is worth watching, I think, and obviously worth my time to review.
So I guess it's time to get into the review, eh? See what it's made of dog food and what it provides us all with, and why it is worth the time to write about. So, let's get to those screen caps! This is AKB48's dog-themed PV for the Summer, Labrador Retriever! Are y'all ready for some Puppy Love and Summer fun? I'm not, but whatever! LET'S GO!!!
Woof woof!!!
I feel like this scene is a giant metaphor about this entire PV. Dog Food. We don't wanna eat it or have it within a 10 foot radius due to the nauseating smell, but we have to put up with it because it keeps our puppies alive. Yay!
Mayuyu, comatose. Just how we like her!
A PV about Dogs. Another metaphor!!!
Bringing literal meaning to the PV title. YAY!!!
We are not getting off to a good start, PV.
This is the part where we fall off our chairs in amazement because, dear readers, we are finally being given CUTE BIKINI'S!!! It has been a while, cute bikini's. I have missed you.
Thank God Sasshi is here to save me in this PV with her cute bikini.
The more Sasshi I have, the less alcohol I need to get me through this PV.
Takamina does not like this idea at all.
The unnecessary yet highly appreciated ass shot of one Watanabe Mayu. Though damn, that bikini is kinda giving her a wedgie.
The more Paruru the better, I say! Especially blonde Paruru.
Subliminal messaging at its best. You put that hot dog (!) in your mouth, Jurina!
Is that a push-up bra with lots of padding and under-wire I detect, Miss
Then again there is a looooot of padding going on here, I swear.
Welp, bye General Director. These girls are set to bury you alive before you can decide on your Graduation date.
No AKB48 member gets out of AKB alive!!!
God DAMN, Sayanee is gorgeous. I want you for #1, girl.
Heeheehee, you go Sasshi! Get whoever that girl is in the hat...
ARRRGH, IT'S A GREMLIN!!!
Seriously though, that girl scares me. A lot. By girl I mean Meru.
That's a lot of girls to forget about...
Wait, who are you again?
Mayu's so bored of this PV, she decided to sleep through it. I don't blame her.
... Well, I'd stay awake for the Paruru (or Sasshi) moments. That girl is so cute!
Also, this shot was completely accidental when screen-cappin'. I love Jurina's expression XD
Jurina: "To be or not to be, that is the question!"
Even the Labrador thinks Paruru is irresistibly cute. Or Mayu. Or whoever that dog is.
I swear, I have seen this exact pose multiple times in one or many of their bikini-based PV's. Or maybe an SKE48 PV. I have no clue, I lose count how many times I see the same thing in an AKB video.
I wish this was me right now. Then I wouldn't have to live through AKB's songs for another day~
I feel like this is a horrible metaphor for Mayu. 'Watanabe Mayu is the equivelant of Dog Food' or even the simile 'Mayu is like Dog Food'. Either way, she is on the cover of a dog food packet, which usually features an image of a dog...
Regardless, we all know why she's on the cover; she is actually the Labrador, but they're putting her face on it instead to make that statement.
... I read too deep into this shit. Sorry.
Ooooh look, a shiny, obvious item of meaning or value. Will anyone notice this key item!?
!?
Paruru is too damn cute in this scene, I love her little 'What the fuuuuuck?' face!
And so we have come to the conclusion; Locket + Dog + Locket that looks like Mayu's necklace = Mayu is a dog...?
Paruru: "Mayu's a bitch now?"
Jurina: "Gurl, I coulda told you that years ago."
Paruru: "Dafuq did you put in my hot dog to make me hallucinate?"
This world needs more Paruru polluting our videos.
When all other choreography fails, resort to the conga-line.
This video needs more Fish-Eye Matsui in it.
Oh gawd, this video just got really gross...
EW, no Rena, NO! That is wrong on all levels! You do not lick your ice cream after the dog has licked it! You don't know where that tongue has been!
... I just think I barfed a little in my mouth... urgh...
I forget who that girl is, but chompy teeth looks cute.
Awww, look, a doggy! Now, doggy... pee on Takamina!
Yeah, my exact reaction to the Rena-eating-ice-cream-after-doggy-licks-it scene. UUUUUUUURRRRGHH!!!!
Everyone abandoned ship, leaving the Captain aboard to go down with it. Takamina be PIIIIISSSEEED!
Imagine that the Labroador is me (permission to call me a bitch, yaaay!) and the Frisbee is this PV. That is my reaction to the PV.
Who the Hell are you?
I think I only know the faces of two of these girls, and even then I'm questioning who they are in my teeny tiny brain.
Because a dog that is not even in shot of your picture is of some concern to you.
LOGIC!
Takamina, how the fuck did you get out of that sand pit we put you in!?
Better yet, how did you get so clean despite all this running after some random Labrador?
It's funny how a random dog can bring all these strangers together.
Gee, I wonder who AKS want for runner up in Senbatsu? I think they want TAKAMINA!!! YEAH!
That said, Jurina's winning Janken single was boring. So maybe not.
Jurina: "I... I think I'm in love..."
That is a horrible fucking collar. Just sayin'.
Jurina has chosen her mate wisely, I believe.
They're all (or at least, most of them) are wearing something that looks like a collar. Hello, key items!!!
Takamina wants to kill us all, by the way.
Oh Mayu, as robotic and lifeless as ever I see.
Also, is that death I detect in Takamina's gaze?
Oh shit, they saw each other! We have entered the Twilight Zone!!!
Oh Mayu, could you be more realistic with your expression? No? Okay.
HOLY SHIT, THEY'RE ALL DOGS!!!
AKS, you sly bastards you, insinuating what you think of your girls! Shame on you!!!
Paruru is still the cutest, even with puppies in the same shot.
Girls, you're barking up the wrong tree here! DON'T PEE ON THE IDOLS!!!
Welp, that's a good chunk of the Senbatsu AKS don't want us to remember gone. Funny how obvious they make who they want to win stand out, eh?
Oh Good Lord, one Mayu was enough... why did you have to add a second one!?
That said, two Paruru's is good! Good PV, good!
Ew, no PV, no! WHY DO YOU GO INTO THE REALMS OF EW PV? WHY!?!?
TakaMina wins the entire MV for the faces she pulls.
We can always count on TakaMina to make an MV interesting in some way~
This PV, however, severely lacked Matsui Rena. GIVE ME MORE!!!
So this is how the scenes actually looked, eh?
HAH! Best scene, look at the dog with the camera! XD
Oh! It was all just a dream...~
... Or maybe not! WOOF!
Oh God, where to start? I mean, this is one of the more entertaining PV's that AKB48 has brought out for an A-side since... well, probably since UZA if I'm going to be completely honest with you. Not to say the other PV's are bad, because this is completely my unwanted opinion and the others are fine and dandy I suppose, but they did nothing for me personally as a casual listener or viewer, but this one was actually fun to watch, despite the shit song accompanying it. I don't think you all know how long it's been since I have found a main A-side from AKB entertaining enough to watch all the way through, and not skip at all...
I actually feel faint from finding it so... so fun to watch! Catch me as I fall, kya!
Sure, it has it's issues, like that whole dog licking the ice cream scene, and then Rena licking it right after (ew x10000000000000) and other gross scenes similar to that one (ew, Jurina licking Jurina, ew!!!) and the weak choreography (but when has AKB's recent choreography been grand?), yet despite said scenes... I found the rest of it rather enjoyable to watch and even found it quite funny at certain points, mostly the scene where all is revealed and it turns out the girls are actually dogs, and the 'real' girls of AKB48 are the ones dancing on the beach in this push-up bikini's. I really liked that twist to the story line, it made it so much better than simply having the girls follow this random Labrador Retriever and finding the beach to dance on, though it begs the question of why we see the dogs in the AKB forms, other than AKS subtly hinting AKB is full of bitches, meaning the female dog of course.
Speaking of which!
Now, whilst I am not exactly enamoured by Mayu being the centre of this single, I actually didn't mind her as much in this PV as I thought I would, but I guess that's mostly because throughout a good majority of this PV she is portrayed as the Labrador, and not the emotionless, robot-smiled girl she typically is, so it toned down her presence a great deal despite the fact she was always there, albeit as a dog. Still, the scenes I did see her in I really didn't care about. She looked like she cared as much as I did when watching most other AKB PV's from this year or last. Then again, that's Mayu all over! Her emotions are as realistic as Acchan's were before she graduated in this PV, though I don't blame her one bit - she is being portrayed as a dog throughout it, after all. I'd be an emotionless, pissed-off wreck too.
If anything, you could have at least portrayed her as a cute kitty! Tabby Cat would be a great song title!
That said, I still don't wish for her win to Senbatsu, regardless of how much this video tries to shove her in your face. But that's my own personal issues and everything I guess. I like her as a soloist or the lead of a small group and all, but for the entirety of AKB48? Nope. I would rather Sayanee win, or even KojiHaru, which is saying something, because I am not a fan of KojiHaru. Oh wait... scratch that. I just remembered that videoKojiHaru was centre for, meaning I don't remember it. Okay, I would rather have Mayu as centre.
That sentence was irrelevant.
Speaking of Senbatsu and how this video tries to subtly shove the girls that they want to win in your faces, I'm rather confused; are we supposed to want to vote for Paruru, or Jurina for second place in this video? In the second half it seems like Jurina is the favourite to win that spot, yet we get a damn lot of Paruru throughout a good majority of this video, which leads me to believe they want her for second. Then in the dance shots (and the Team 4 cover) we see Jurina and Sasshi as second and third in line for that coveted throne of success and popularity, further confusing the hell out of me. So, who is it? This PV may be fun, but fuck, for a PV that is made to brainwash you into choosing a favourite, it sure is failing to do just that, or at least for the purpose it was set to do.
I have no clue who to root for in this video, though it's rather obvious who I would vote for in a heartbeat if I had the decency to go through that whole Senbatsu system and actually, you know, vote.
 |
| MOSES!!! <3 |
It definitely beats Sayonara Crawl by a long shot, that's for sure. Then again, everything beats that horrible colour-blast of ick, including that one scene that made me want to throw up in this entire video. Urk!
It's a good PV, even with a song that sucks balls like a good deal of AKB's discography for their main A-sides right now, but hey! At least the PV is entertaining. It's cute, memorable and enjoyable to watch, despite the forgettable, bland song, and in this review that is all that matters; the PV.
Oh, and Paruru. All the Paruru!
Now, it's time to listen to something else! Thank goodness this song is easily forgettable after about two seconds... wait, what did it sound like again?
Chiima~
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