I keep wondering when I last did a post, and looking back now, it was at the end of June. Thinking even further, I haven't continued my Haachin series despite saying I would, and actually I have a clear idea of where to go with them, but right now I don't have the time, and my interest has waned a little with this space. I don't know why, it just has.
Thinking back to my hiatus, I had times where I thought about completely leaving Okay! Musume Time and never looking back, and those feelings are only intensifying now despite how much I wanted to return. It was actually during my weekend at HYPER JAPAN that I wondered more about graduating Okay! Musume Time or going on another hiatus, because despite how much I love this blog and how much it has shaped me as a person and a writer, it's also holding me back a little (or so I believe), and I'm not as into the articles I want to write as I could be.
There is a lot I want to do on here, but I want to do similar content on Selective Hearing. I also want to showcase a better, more professional side to myself, but I don't think I could ever get Okay! Musume Time to that standard, but also I want to keep this personal, bubbly side to myself on here. I've also acknowledged that I want to write more for Selective Hearing and to better my article count there. It's quite low in my mind, and during my hiatus I did well with writing, but since trying to get back into writing on O!MT I have fallen back into the habit of writing nothing for either site. It's aggravating, worrying, and it only stresses me out more.
Of course there are a lot of good things about Okay! Musume Time that make me want to write here for a long time. Firstly, it will be 8 years old come November. Second, I finally hit the 1000 post count during a Haachin-based post. Third, I have been able to talk to so many people through this and made friends thanks to blogging. I've grown and learnt so many things since starting up my blog and I can't be happier that it brought me so many things. It's thanks to Okay! Musume Time that I am where I am today in my love for idols and writing, but I know that there will be a time when I need to stop and do something a little different, or the same thing on another platform.
I will give myself until Okay! Musume Time's 8th Anniversary to decide whether or not I graduate this space. By then I should know where I want to be and what I want to do.
Apologies for the sudden post everyone, but I wanted my feelings about this situation out in the open. Thank you for reading, and please take care.
Chiima.
