Wednesday, 29 April 2015

I-Candy à la Nagasawa Marina

WARNING: This post contains GRAVURE, so some images may be NSFW. If you are under the age of 17 or feel offended by this sort of content, then PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER / AFTER THE BREAK! THANK YOU!!!

Roaming into a world unknown, today we'll be looking at something a little different to the norm here...



In celebration of releasing her very first Gravure DVD, titled MINARAI PRINCESS, why don't we delve into a few previews of what Houkago Princesses Nagasawa Marina has to offer for us all?

Introducing another Factory-Made Product, Tsubaki Factory!!!

All thoughts and opinions, and rants, are my own. Y'all have been warned. THANKS!

Oh Jesus Fucking Christ.

I'm pretty sure that, by now, everyone has heard the news already:

Hello! Project has a shiny new Kenshuusei unit! Yaaaaaay!!!

So why am I feeling slightly irritated?


I doubt I need to give any introductions to this group, as I am pretty sure you all already know about them, but please say a warm hello to Tsubaki Factory, the newest in new from Hello! Project! Hand-picked and named by Shimizu Saki (why am I not surprised?), these girls are the latest group to emerge from the pool of talent that is the Kenshuusei!

Currently consisting of six members, the girls within the group are: Ogata Risa (16), Yamagishi Riko (16), Niinuma Kisora (15), Tanimoto Ami (15), Kishimoto Yumeno (15) and Asakura Kiki (14), and they will all debut as Tsubaki Factory on May 4th during the next Hello! Pro Kenshuusei live concert.

... So what's the issue here?

Thursday, 23 April 2015

The Bland, The Ballad and The Basic; In A Nutshell, That is Morning Musume '15's 58th Single

All thoughts and opinions are my own. That's the norm. Don't like, you don't have to read, unless you're like me and take pleasure in reading someone else's disdain for what you love. But, seriously, we're all entitled to an opinion; some are just more outspoken and brash than others. Me? I like voicing my god-damned opinion on here, for the world to read. SO, LET'S READ!!!

... I think that I have finally found a song that is worse than One Two Three...

Oh my!!!


It is a rare thing for me to really dislike a single I think, because typically, there is at least a saving grace that allows me to love a release regardless of the gigantic-ass flaw that sits on the surface like a giant pimple. With One Two Three, the saving graces in sound were The Matenrou Show and two of the three generation song b-sides. These songs justified the single enough for me, and made me like it more, even when I hated its main song with such a strong passion.

Sadly, this train-wreck doesn't really have a saviour, at least, it doesn't have a song that is good enough to justify this single to be good.
 It makes me wonder just how the fuck this single was able to get #2 weekly... oh, yeah, binge-buying. Almost forgot that existed.

Honestly, for the first single of the year, as well as the introduction to the newest generation that many have been waiting for, one would have expected this to be amazing. I know, I know, Maji desu ka Ska wasn't the most unique of songs, and to many Pyoko Pyoko Ultra was a massive flop, and I would never expect a grand entrance like Help Me!!, but... at least all three of those introduction songs had effort thrown into it, you know? They were all catchy and memorable, and they were great to loop.

With these songs, I forget the tune to them once I've stopped playing it. None of them are memorable whatsoever. This is a problem, and I pray to Lord Gaki that UFP kick their arses into gear and produce something of better quality, because when you compare Morning Musume '15's release to every other groups first release so far this year, this is the one that sounds the worst, and the one that lacks personality and creativity.

And, it's because of how shitty this single is that I have decided to review it. Because reviewing shitty singles makes me happy, clearly, and because I enjoy griping about these things. So, without further ado, let's get into my review for Morning Musume '15's shit new single, Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru / Yuugure wa Ameagari / Ima Koko Kara, the debut of the poor new 12ki. Oy, vey.

.。.:*☆*:.。.☆.。.:*☆*:.。.













Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru / Yuugure wa Ameagari / Ima Koko Kara by Morning Musume '15

Release Date: April 15th, 2015

Track List:

1. Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru
2. Yuugure wa Ameagari
3. Ima Koko Kara

1. Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru

... Urgh.

Where does one begin with the terror that is Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru? I mean, I can't say it's good, because I think it's a pretty damn terrible song, and I can't say that it's exciting, because this is honestly one of the most boring tunes to come out of Hello! Project in forever. So then... what can I say about it?

... Ah, fuck it, let's begin with saying that it's shit.

From just that, it's pretty obvious that I don't like this song. In fact, I find it a lot worse than One Two Three, so for me, that's saying something. So, yeah. This song is crap, and a poor excuse for a debut song for 12ki. It's not good.
 Of course, that's subject to opinion, but when it comes to a main track off a single, I would expect something a little better, and a lot more inventive and exciting.

What I don't want is the watered-down, crap version of Berryz Kobo's 1-Oku 3-Senman Sou Diet Oukoku, which is actually a good song.

At least the (Another ver.) PV is good. Sadly, it can't save this drab song.


What I don't like about this song is how slow and boring it is, and how simple the beat is; it doesn't feel like it's trying, it just feels like it's... there, but doesn't want to be. There is no personality behind the instrumental, nothing that grips me as a listener. I don't like that it sounds like a dumbed-down version of some of MoMusu's better new-era songs, and I dislike that it tries to be energetic and then suddenly tries to be cool and collected.

I don't like a lot.

Okay, so I do admit, this song is a grower; a few people that I have spoken to have said that the song, whilst they don't like it or hated it at first, have found that its grown on them, and I admit that it's grown on me a bit too, the more I listen to it. Does that mean I like it more now? Heck no, I still dislike it. It just got catchier with each listen, I'm afraid.

I just get bored listening to it, and I want to pause it after a minute because I feel like it's a chore to watch it and concentrate on the song itself. So, I'm going to turn it off again now, and hopefully never listen to it again unless I'm drunk, or forget that I don't like this song and mistakenly put it on.
 I'll probably undergo the former before hearing this again, not gonna lie.

NEXT!

2. Yuugure wa Ameagari

Hands in the air, Praise Lord Gaki, because this is THE SAVIOUR SONG!!! Hallelujah, Praise the Gaki!

Seriously, of all three songs, this one was the saving grace for me, though I admit it isn't enough to save this entire single; it's not strong enough, and it's definitely not memorable enough to warrant me wanting to buy this single.
 Because, let's be honest, there much better songs from other groups out there that would overtake this song.

Still, it's very pretty, and it's definitely right up my alley as a song. I do love ballads, and pretty settings in PV's too, so of course this one would happen to appeal to me, and I'm glad it did stand out above the rest; it would have been a shame to hate this single for everything it had to offer.


It's not a painfully slow song, not like what Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru was at points, and it has good pacing in its beat. It's pretty to listen to, and to its credit, is one of the groups better ballads as of late; I didn't really like Toki wo Koe Sora as much as everyone else did, not unless it was sung live, but this one feels good to listen to - it's soft, it doesn't have too much EDM going on, and it feels refreshing.
 In short, it's a very nice spring ditty.

One of the strong points of this song, though, is that Mizuki and Masaki are lead vocals in this; this song is perfect for those two, and of all the girls who get solo lines, both Mizuki and Masaki are the two who I remember the most. The only girl I feel should have been switched for her solo lines, purely because her vocals don't suit this song at all, was Riho - she sounded really out of place here, and I feel like a cuter set of pipes would have worked better in her place. That said, she sounds good; better than the first two years since her debut, at least. Other than that, I liked who got solo lines; they did well.

Sadly, I don't remember this song once I've finishes listening to it, and it's easily drowned out by better songs that I prefer to hear more. I mean, it'll be great background noise, don't get me wrong, but as a song I want to devote my whole attention to? Yeah, that won't happen.

... Yep, that's all I have to say on this song. I like it, but it's not good enough to be memorable or to be listened to seriously. Basically, it's like a '48 A-side song. Pretty, but... wait, what does it sound like again?

Ah, well~

3. Ima Koko Kara

Oh, good grief. This song.
 Can I end the review at that? No? Ah, dang nabbit!

Okay. Ima Koko Kara. A bland, boring-ass, piece of shit for a song that is an anime tie-in, and probably the reason this song sold as many CD's as it did. I mean, it appeals to kids, right, and it's for an anime that honestly looks scary as fuck to me, so of course it would appeal to a wider range?
 Well, none of that means anything to me, because this songs bad. Not Seishun bad, but it's still bad.

The fact that I find it better than Seishun Kozo ga Naiteiru, though, is pretty terrifying, because this is such a basic song, and I honestly believed that there could be nothing worse than this for MoMusu this year. I was wrong.


I mean, it's an incredibly catchy song, don't get me wrong - it's cute too, in a bland way, but it doesn't really offer anything amazing to the listener; it's simplistic and sweet, but forgettable at the same time. I suppose it's the simplicity and sweet sound that makes it so good for kids, but as an adult, I don't really hear its appeal. It's not energetic or powerful, it doesn't grab you right away, and it doesn't make me me want to dance or sing along to it. There's no personality or charm in it, and it's just... it's not a great anime song. I mean, I've heard a lot better.
 We've all heard a lot better, Chii.

Honestly though, for the third track on MoMusu's single, I actually didn't expect much from this song. Granted, it is definitely a grower, and it's actually the one song on this single that I do remember at random intervals (so it isn't all that forgettable... so long as you loop it a few times to ingrain it into your memory) but, it's nothing special, either. I know, it's the song that MoMusu were given to promote an anime, and that's a good thing, but... it's just not good, and not a song I would expect from this MoMusu right now.
 It is a nice change of pace, but it's also too simple for them, I think.

Well, at least they got some cute costumes out of it. That's a bonus, for sure.

It's not the best song of the bunch, but, it's still catchy and cute, and incredibly not the weakest link of this single. It's nice to listen to as well, but if you're looking for something complex and cool, something you would expect from 2013-2014, then this isn't it. It's just a simple, cute song, one that would appeal to children and work great as background noise.

... Okay, can I turn it off now? Thanks.

.。.:*☆*:.。.☆.。.:*☆*:.。.

The Conclusion

Okay, now that all those songs have been switched off and I am once again listening to E-Girls, I can write with ease. I swear, this new single of MoMusu's fries my brain and turns it to mush so that I can't write. Urgh.

So, the single, what do I think? Well, if you read the beginning of the post, then you may have gathered that I think it's mostly made of trash, and even after looping those songs a few times when trying to write this post, I still think it's really bad, especially for a debut single. Really, it's not that good.

The songs are poor in quality. They aren't memorable, but instead bland and easily forgettable and unimaginative. Honestly, of all the Hello! Project singles to be released this year, Morning Musume '15's is the worst of the lost, and Hello! Pro have been doing really damn good this year with their songs I think, so this is truly a shame. I mean, what happened? What happened to make Morning Musume '15's songs so atrocious in comparison to the rest of the H!P family, huh? Their songs were pretty good last year, not the best or most impactful, but they were memorable and loop-worthy, so why is this single so awful?
 I don't know, but I'll wonder, because I like MoMusu, and wouldn't wish this awful sound even on Berryz or S/mileage back when they were around.

It's a poor single, especially for the first of the year, and it has no upstanding songs on it if you ask me. This doesn't mean its bad, because a sound is subject to the listener, and I'm sure many love this single, which is great, however I have yet to find any strong point to the 58th release for Morning Musume '15. Yes, I like Yuugure wa Ameagari, but not enough to think it could make this single good. It's a nice spring song, but honestly, it doesn't have enough power to save the other two songs.

*Sigh* This is why we need B-sides back, to give us saviours to shit A-side tracks like these; honestly, hearing this single, it really makes me wish even more that we had B-sides once again. They brought personality and balance to the single, and whilst yes, we have three songs here to "entertain" us for a couple of minutes, they aren't enough if you ask me. There needs to be more to it, something to flesh it out, keep it grounded, and make it interesting. Yes, three songs is a lot, but when all three songs are poor in quality and only good for background noise, then you have a problem, and H!P need to fix it, and make MoMusu exciting again.
 If this was their second release of the year, I might feel more forgiving, but it isn't. What can you do, though?

If I had a rating system, this would probably get one Apple on the chart, maybe half an apple. Actually, it wouldn't get any apples, because I seriously don't care about this single. It's crap.

Seriously, though. Finally, I found a song worse than One Two Three! I never thought I would see the day ._.

.。.:*☆*:.。.☆.。.:*☆*:.。.

As a final say, what are YOUR thoughts on the single? Do you enjoy it, or are you like me, someone who dislikes it and finds it pretty weak for a first release of the year? Let me know if you want! Until next time however, I will say adieu to you all, and meet you once again in my next post!

Take care, and have a wonderful week ahead of you!

Much Love,
Chiima~

Saturday, 4 April 2015

A Vibrant case of Teenage Blues! It's Team I's 'Teenage Blues' Music Video! [Review]

All thoughts and opinions within this post are completely my own, as per usual. You really don't have to agree with me, nor do I expect you to. Just respect the opinion I give, and I shall respect yours in return... unless it's hateful. Then I won't respect it. Ya~

I haven't blogged in a while, because of the following: 1) Android Otome Games, and 2) My creative funk has been out of whack lately. And because I miss blogging, and also because there are some PV's that I actually really would love to review, it's time to slowly start forcing myself back into writing.

It is also 7:12am as I write this, and I have been up since 3:30am. FML. So, what better way to kick myself into gear, than when I am a tad sleep deprived!? Sadly, this is something that I actually do way too much...

So, alongside Chiima: The Sleep Deproved Blogger, how about we check out an MV that has captured my attention lately, and procrastinate on going back to bed, where I truly should be? I wonder what today's pick will be~?


Okay, so ever since I stumbled upon Stay with me by P.IDL via some youtube playlists last Christmas, I have since followed this group in pursuit of their latest releases. It took a few months, but finally, back in February the group released their latest music video, but minus quite a number of members.

Then again, this song is strictly performed by Team I, so no wonder.

Team I is, if you are unaware of P.IDL's system, Team I(dol). The group is one giant as a whole, with various Teams for P(op), I(dol), D(ance) and L(ady), but for the projects most recent release, Team I was picked up to sing the theme song for an up-coming anime movie, file(N): project PQ, made by Toei animation and set for a 2016 release.
 It's an Idol anime, too. Because Idol anime is all the rage right now, which actually makes me quite happy. I freakin' LOVE IDOLS!

ahem... Anywhoo, yeah, Team I sing the theme song, and whilst the song is cute and fun, but not really that memorable, the PV is quite eye-catching, and definitely one of the best promotional videos I have seen that actually promotes something other than the group in quite a while - seriously, it is glorious.

You don't have to agree with or believe me, but if it's worth anything, definitely take a look at it. In fact, take a look at it with me, here. In my bedroom... okay, in your bedroom. With tea. Biscuits, too. Maybe some jaffa cakes. Now. LET'S WATCH!

This is Teenage Blues, Team I's debut single, and probably the nicest promotional video I have seen in a while. At least, when it comes to promoting anime, that is. It does it well.

ONWARDS, TO THE PV!!!